- Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
- Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
- Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
- Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
- If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
- If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
- Do you cry under water?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
- Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Stop singing and read on…
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
- Four engineers were travelling by car to a seminar, when unfortunately, the vehicle broke down.
- The chemical engineer said, “Obviously, some constituent of the fuel has caused this failure to occur”
- The mechanical engineer replied, “I disagree, I would surmise that an engine component has suffered a catastrophic structural failure.”
- The electrical engineer also had a theory. “I believe an electrical component has ceased to function, thereby causing an ignition malfunction.”
- The software engineer thought for some time. When at last he spoke he said, “What would happen if we all got out and then got back in again?”
